Mother natures and company dropped several feet of snow on DC twice and got the name Snowpocalypse among others.

Snow-ver kill, snow-verload, or just plain snow-ver it, it’s pretty safe to say that most residents of the mid-atlantic are sick of the abundant white powder that has plagued the city like fat woman at a new Krispy Kreme opening.

That mostly worthless public transit system we so lovingly call WMATA–the feminine entity that promises to open doors but only ends up slamming them shut in your face–is at best a lazy and complacent fat ass becoming more worthless and less useful. Yes, I said it!

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The legendary British fashion designer Lee McQueen of Alexander McQueen and McQ

The devastating news that 40-year-old, British fashion designer, Lee McQueen of Alexander McQueen, had been found dead at his luxury flat in Mayfair, central London, hit early today and sent a gloomy, mournful cloud over the fashion world.

The web filled with information about the fallen legend from all direction.  Pictures came next and it was particularly hard to escape the agony that was written across the face of a man with blond hair who was said to be McQueen’s boyfriend.

The doleful tears both outside his London flat and at his headquarters in Farringdon conveyed the deep feeling of emptiness and pain and loss.

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Above: The iPad which we left in color; a rarity not often seen on the black-and-white-laden JAWKSTRAP

So it’s here (not that we didn’t know it was coming).  And despite it’s title, it doesn’t have Maxi or wings.

With less-than-stellar naming skills, California’s local fruit vendor introduced the iPad, yesterday at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco.  As indicated by perky hatred for it’s handle and the sheer and overall disappointment, the tech community began it’s love/hate bash and everyone else followed by issuing neat, hashtagged 140 character (or less) tweets that chirped like sarcasm on a rainy day.

We think it’s safe to say the iPad didn’t generate quite the reaction we’re sure the design mavens in Cupertino had intended.  We’ve already started seeing less-than-savvy posts on how undeniably, ridiculously, devastatingly hilarious it would be for Russian street hookers to start rushing in to American WalMarts demanding they be sold an iPad to plug up their heavy Slavic flows.  More on that, never.

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Above: The umbra witch, Bayonetta strikes us a pose in front of a full moon with her trusty pistol ‘Sage’ in hand.

Bayonetta is a 500 year old witch that looks like a young porn star version of Sarah Palin with legs for days and I am convinced that she was created by the queens over at Sega just for us.

This bitch is some serious fierce and everything about her character design from her skin tight body suit fashioned magically from her own luscious locks all the way to her six inch gun toting heels is exquisite. And don’t even get me started on her jaunting ultra sexpot gait.

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Final touches being put on outside the San Francisco Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Theater where the event is taking place.

Excitement? We think so. The Apple Media Event is today and the boys are buzzing with delight and trying to keep their perfectly shaped asses planted firmly in their seats.

As many can’t be in San Francisco today–like Stephen Fry (via this tweet)–there are several places they can get a live blog fix.  Enjoy the closest thing to being present + Steve Jobs and more iPorn for your Grindr-based collection on Engadget, Gizmodo, MacRumors, CNET, The Apple Blog, Apple Insider, and Wired.

We’ll be back with the write up after lunch with Steve!

Above: The Apple Store Upper West Side on Broadway in New York City and the future headquarters of JAWKSTRAP.

Boys, it’s time to put on your good underwear and get pretty and all dolled up because the Apple Media event is only days away.  As if you could pay for this type of brouhaha and verbal gyration, the tech world has been abuzz with rumors and speculation surrounding Apple’s latest and greatest secret new toys.

Fixed on the geek’s list and hopefully soon up for grabs are two new gossip-inducing iGems.

iSlate

This top secret mobile device, would be positioned to redefine print media as we know it; much the same way iTunes did for music and the iPhone did for mobility.

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Above: The rear of the VW New Compact Coupe Hybrid Concept that may appear this Spring with the 6th generation Jetta.

Finally the coupe is here!  We’ve maintained a long-time love affair with Volkswagen and this release really excites us.

As if the design mavens at Volkswagen Headquarters in Wolfsburg Germany have been sneaking into our rooms at night, monitoring our prayers and meditations, and suddenly deciding to act upon our wishes, Volkswagen released the New Compact Coupe Hybrid–a concept boasting itself as a fuel efficient four-seater sports coupe–at the 2010 Detroit Auto Show.  NCC Porn after the jump.

The NCC is quite attractive and and in the nicest way possible, resembles a poor mans Audi, which, we must add, won’t stop us or anyone else from remortgaging the house to get one.

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Above: The much anticipated and possibly overly hyped Nexus One Android phone from Mountain View California-based Google

The Google Phone, now known as the Nexus One, drew some serious buzz and more pre-launch hype than a new Madea Goes to Jail movie at cookout on Sunday.  Many people have dubbed this “superphone” the and all and be all but we beg to differ.  iPhone killer?  We think not.  The Nexus One is a serious piece of great tech but without the finesse and refinement the iPhone enjoys in almost every aspect, we can hardly award the Google phone the title of “iPhone killer”, and much of the geekosystem agrees.

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Our friends at Homotography notes Volkswagen gets shockingly kinky in these Chinese ads for the famous VW GTI.  We’ve never been opposed to bit of kink and even if these ads–the brainchild of BIG Advertising: Beijing, China–don’t sell many GTIs, we’re glad for the out-of-the-box and in your face marketing.  Here’s one more for the road!  Cheers!

Above: outlandishly costumed Lady Gaga, former Upper East Side prep schooler turned megastar, gay idol and now, business model.

Who knew if tech startups wanted a leg up, they’d be taking strategy tips from the Queen of Ooh la la. Those in the know say that the key to success is in 5 steps emulated by Gaga.  This is going to be BIG tells us how, below.

1) Be remarkable. People forget what that word actually means—to Two words: bubble dress.  It’s so outlandish that you can’t help but notice.  “Is she really wearing… a bubble dress?”  You want to force your users to stop for a moment and actually take note of something you did for them.  “Was it really that easy?”  “How did they figure that out?”  You want them to turn to the next person and say “Hey, check this out.”  I think too often people add “share on Twitter” buttons to their apps without first adding something that people would actually want to share.  What is it about your service that will make people stop and notice?

2) Repeat the message as often as possible: “Pa-pa-pa-Poker Face”, “Ra-ma ra ma-ma”, “Papa-paparazzi”, “Let’s play a love game, play a love game”…   Many of Gaga’s lyrics and sounds are repeated one right after another—simple, but memorable when listened to over and over again.  Figuring out what your simple message is and repeating it across your site, your marketing copy, PR, and in business development meetings is a way to build brand awareness and clarity.  Too often, I hear from startups all the things they could possibly be instead of hearing the one simple thing they want to be, over and over again.   Your audience looks at a million brand messages a day and to cut through, you can’t be a different thing everytime someone experiences you—or worse yet, everything to everyone.  Sometimes, broken records aren’t so bad.

3) Be relentless. Startups, like a lot of music acts, are often one hit wonders.  They make a big splash upon launch, everyone fusses over them, and then they have no follow up.  They quickly lose momentum.  On the other hand, just when one Lady Gaga song starts losing steam—BOOM—here comes another tune that you just can’t get out of your head, seemingly once every couple of months.  Startups need to do this more with both their product and their public relations strategy.  You might be the new new thing now, but what’s going to be your next hit?  A big business development deal?  A killer new feature?  Rarely are startups ever made on their launch, and neither are lasting music careers.  You can’t ever rest on your laurels in either game.  Always be raising the bar.

4) Create something bigger than just the individual. At some point, you go from two developers in an apartment to a real company—and things take on a life of its own that is over and above the individual identities of the founders.  Lady Gaga did this by creating a persona separate from her real self.  I’m pretty sure her family still calls her Stefani, but Gaga has become larger than life.  For a startup, this happens when a company actually starts to act like a real company—getting outside board members to regularly report to, taking strategy and process seriously, maintaining consistent corporate identities.  It also means delegation of duty and responsibility, adherence of procedure.  The earlier the founders of a company act like they’ve created something bigger than themselves, the sooner they actually get there.

5) Respect success. Lady Gaga has clearly been influenced by Madonna, Michael Jackson, David Bowie, and others—and she seamlessly and subtlety incorporates little homages to these superstars into her performance.  On the other hand, some stars pick fights with those who have come before them or portray themselves as a replacement instead of recognizing that there’s a reason why others are successful, even if they aren’t always the most innovative.  This is something I wish more startups would do—see what’s working for other companies way more successful than you are and adopt well executed strategies used by others.  Too many times I ask a company about some feature or strategy that the industry leader has, and the startup is quick to dismiss it.  They mistake different for new and better.  It’s as if they think I won’t be interested in an investment unless they’re going to crush the leader feature by feature with a whole new approach.  If you can’t recognize greatness, and build off of it, then you’re going to be unlikely to be great on your own.