Above: The Apple Store Upper West Side on Broadway in New York City and the future headquarters of JAWKSTRAP.

Boys, it’s time to put on your good underwear and get pretty and all dolled up because the Apple Media event is only days away.  As if you could pay for this type of brouhaha and verbal gyration, the tech world has been abuzz with rumors and speculation surrounding Apple’s latest and greatest secret new toys.

Fixed on the geek’s list and hopefully soon up for grabs are two new gossip-inducing iGems.

iSlate

This top secret mobile device, would be positioned to redefine print media as we know it; much the same way iTunes did for music and the iPhone did for mobility.

Besides, who doesn’t want a 10-inch mobile version of Grindr as they flick back and forth through Numéro Magazine on the way home from work?

We would also like to point out how seriously we dislike the name “iSlate” and favor “The Apple Canvas” which one clever Mac Rumors forum member thought up.  Canvas, FTW!

iPhone 4G

So maybe not 4G but a steady topic on the geek’s list is an all new iPhone and more specifically, one that runs on the ever reliable but terribly outdated CDMA Verizon.  Also, it seems clear that it makes no difference that AT&T is a better overall company than Verizon.  People want it now and want it everywhere and it shows.

iPhone users are hanging by a thread, waiting impatiently to slap the white off AT&T’s teeth and drop kick their “Rollover Minutes” to bask in the ambience of  ”Verizon does.”

Clearly connectivity is king.  And take no notice of us, but we sure did find it interesting that AT&T has stopped all -IN-YOUR-FACE advertising, marketing, and overall “pushing” of their flagship mobile phone on their website.  Perhaps we have reached the end of multi-year exclusivity?  Just a thought.  VZW, FTW!

Join us for pink lemonade and our continued coverage of Apple’s Media Event.

Oh, and…don’t forget your JAWKSTRAP.

Our friends at Homotography notes Volkswagen gets shockingly kinky in these Chinese ads for the famous VW GTI.  We’ve never been opposed to bit of kink and even if these ads–the brainchild of BIG Advertising: Beijing, China–don’t sell many GTIs, we’re glad for the out-of-the-box and in your face marketing.  Here’s one more for the road!  Cheers!

Above: outlandishly costumed Lady Gaga, former Upper East Side prep schooler turned megastar, gay idol and now, business model.

Who knew if tech startups wanted a leg up, they’d be taking strategy tips from the Queen of Ooh la la. Those in the know say that the key to success is in 5 steps emulated by Gaga.  This is going to be BIG tells us how, below.

1) Be remarkable. People forget what that word actually means—to Two words: bubble dress.  It’s so outlandish that you can’t help but notice.  “Is she really wearing… a bubble dress?”  You want to force your users to stop for a moment and actually take note of something you did for them.  “Was it really that easy?”  “How did they figure that out?”  You want them to turn to the next person and say “Hey, check this out.”  I think too often people add “share on Twitter” buttons to their apps without first adding something that people would actually want to share.  What is it about your service that will make people stop and notice?

2) Repeat the message as often as possible: “Pa-pa-pa-Poker Face”, “Ra-ma ra ma-ma”, “Papa-paparazzi”, “Let’s play a love game, play a love game”…   Many of Gaga’s lyrics and sounds are repeated one right after another—simple, but memorable when listened to over and over again.  Figuring out what your simple message is and repeating it across your site, your marketing copy, PR, and in business development meetings is a way to build brand awareness and clarity.  Too often, I hear from startups all the things they could possibly be instead of hearing the one simple thing they want to be, over and over again.   Your audience looks at a million brand messages a day and to cut through, you can’t be a different thing everytime someone experiences you—or worse yet, everything to everyone.  Sometimes, broken records aren’t so bad.

3) Be relentless. Startups, like a lot of music acts, are often one hit wonders.  They make a big splash upon launch, everyone fusses over them, and then they have no follow up.  They quickly lose momentum.  On the other hand, just when one Lady Gaga song starts losing steam—BOOM—here comes another tune that you just can’t get out of your head, seemingly once every couple of months.  Startups need to do this more with both their product and their public relations strategy.  You might be the new new thing now, but what’s going to be your next hit?  A big business development deal?  A killer new feature?  Rarely are startups ever made on their launch, and neither are lasting music careers.  You can’t ever rest on your laurels in either game.  Always be raising the bar.

4) Create something bigger than just the individual. At some point, you go from two developers in an apartment to a real company—and things take on a life of its own that is over and above the individual identities of the founders.  Lady Gaga did this by creating a persona separate from her real self.  I’m pretty sure her family still calls her Stefani, but Gaga has become larger than life.  For a startup, this happens when a company actually starts to act like a real company—getting outside board members to regularly report to, taking strategy and process seriously, maintaining consistent corporate identities.  It also means delegation of duty and responsibility, adherence of procedure.  The earlier the founders of a company act like they’ve created something bigger than themselves, the sooner they actually get there.

5) Respect success. Lady Gaga has clearly been influenced by Madonna, Michael Jackson, David Bowie, and others—and she seamlessly and subtlety incorporates little homages to these superstars into her performance.  On the other hand, some stars pick fights with those who have come before them or portray themselves as a replacement instead of recognizing that there’s a reason why others are successful, even if they aren’t always the most innovative.  This is something I wish more startups would do—see what’s working for other companies way more successful than you are and adopt well executed strategies used by others.  Too many times I ask a company about some feature or strategy that the industry leader has, and the startup is quick to dismiss it.  They mistake different for new and better.  It’s as if they think I won’t be interested in an investment unless they’re going to crush the leader feature by feature with a whole new approach.  If you can’t recognize greatness, and build off of it, then you’re going to be unlikely to be great on your own.

Above, male models from the Dior Homme Fall Winter 2004 Campaign that is now apart of the JAWKSTRAP “Borrowed Not Stolen Dynamic Images Campaign”

Thanks for reading JAWKSTRAP.  Since we can’t help gushing about this blog, let us tell you a little about what it is.

JAWKSTRAP, also indicated by a nifty yet simple keystroke-generated icon: j{s}, is an online hangout filled with verbal insanity from a group of trendy geek friends and their followers.  It’s a social playground for the modern and the progressive.

It’s no secret we like pretty boys but aside from lusting after the young and gorgeous, you’ll find well written, highly entertaining material covering new perspectives in architecture, cars, design, fashion, technology, and cheap nonsense only we can find.

We try to mix serious information with a bit of hilarity and down right crude and vulgar behavior.

We find that it’s best to fuse a Dior Homme skinny tie with an iPhone loading Grindr in one hand and the stearing wheel of a Volkswagen Golf in the other.

We’re political but never correct.  If we had a rating, it would be NR. If we had a location, it would be Washington DC.  And despite beliefs on gays being loud and bright, if we had a color it would be black.

We are a neatly packaged, multi-networked, editorial style publication.  Our posts are divided into categories and if you’d like to, you can read their descriptions by clicking below.

Categories

Enjoy, and don’t forget your jawkstrap!

Cheers!

Above, JAWKSTRAP website loaded on a 15-inch 2.8GHz Intel Core 2 Duo MacBook Pro w/ 4GB of DDR3 RAM

To further breakdown our noteworthy posts and writes up, we have categories; each with their own thoughtful descriptions.

Boys

A showcase of the young and the gorgeous, the hairy and hairless, the cut and uncut. This is a section meant for oohs and aahs, mmm and mmhmm. We also welcome the occasional “woof”. Yes we know…It can get a bit steamy in here.

Cars

Mazda lost their zoom-zoom because 0 to 60 happens here. Join the discussion on the cars that make us horny and the ones we dream about at night. If you like it leather-wrapped and you call yourself a driver then come test drive with us.

Design

Design is where form meets function and looks damn good while doing it. Or at least it’s suppose to. We live for good design and can chat about, praise, and critique it all day. Join the discussion on the latest tidbits and must haves from the design conscious world.

Entertainment

Normally we’re the type of gays that can’t stand celebrities or reality TV but every now and then we expel our love or hate for them here; along with the usual awful video circulating around YouTube. Miscellaneous and funny also lives here.

Fashion

The voices of fashion and the amazing creations of visionary designers inspire us to dream of a thinner self. Join us as we do everything in our power to remain slender enough to fit into garments from the likes of Hedi Slimane and John Galliano.

Headlines

Whatever we want to immediately blind you with, we stick here.

News

Welcome to GNN the Geek News Network. Latest and greatest information on the goings ons in our little part of the world can always be found here and up to the minute.

Scribble

TBS should hire us because this is where ‘very funny’ happens. Scribble represents real life situations and events that take place in our day to day lives and are so noteworthy, we feel the need to boast or bitch about these occurrences here.

Technology

That bulge in our pants is what defines us all. Is it a BlackBerry or an iPhone; a Google Nexus One or some other HTC creation? Gizmos, gadgets and gossip from the tech world can all be found here. We like our hi-tech toys just as much as we like our hi-tech boys.